Addiction recovery: 7 Ways to support a friend or loved one
When a friend or loved one is recovering from an addiction, it’s often hard to know how best to support them. The fear of saying or doing the wrong thing sometimes results in just avoiding the whole situation all together.
However, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), family and friends can play a critical role in helping someone achieve long-lasting sobriety. Recovery can be just as an intense process for those in the addict’s social circle, as it is for the addict.
While each individual’s recovery journey is unique, support and encouragement can be offered in many ways that are applicable for any type of addiction.
1. Educate yourself: Understanding more about a specific addiction and the recovering addict’s disease process can provide valuable insights into how to be supportive. The National Institute on Drug Abuse defines addiction as a complex condition, a brain disease manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequence.
The initial decision to take drugs is voluntary for most people. However, repeated drug use can lead to changes in the brain that challenge an addicted person’s self-control. These changes can interfere with their ability to resist intense urges to take drugs, even though they may want to stop. Addiction is not a choice or a moral failing – it’s a disease of the brain.
2. Focus on the person: Recovery can be so all-consuming and overwhelming that a person can completely lose sight of their personal strengths. As the recovery process progresses, help them reclaim hobbies, talents, goals and dreams they may have set aside as the addiction took hold of their life. Eventually, the addiction should be seen as only one small part of who they are and not what defines them as a person. 
3. Avoid “triggers”: There will be triggers – such as places they frequented or people they used to hang around – everywhere that could drive someone recovering from an addiction toward a relapse. Find out what these triggers are, then help your friend or loved one avoid those whenever possible.
4. Encourage responsibility: Most are familiar with the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” When it comes to helping someone in recovery, there is a fine line between supporting and enabling. Offering support, education and advice is fine; continually rescuing, making excuses and not holding them accountable is not. Remember: you can’t recover for them. It can be difficult at times, but don’t rescue or enable a person by taking on things they should be handling themselves. Gently continue to remind them they are in charge of their life.
5. Be available: Keep in touch on a regular basis. Setting a schedule for how often check-ins will occur, whether in person or by phone, is incredibly helpful. If the plan is to check in once a day by phone, then stick to it. It’s also a good idea to have a back-up plan to contact another person, in the event the original “go-to” person is unavailable to respond immediately.
6. Facilitate other support: A good recovery plan includes multiple supports – one person can’t and shouldn’t carry all the responsibility. A recovery support team might include a therapist, a support group, and access to peer support services, which involves working with others also in recovery. Helping the person stay connected with all of these vital members of their support team is important. It also can be beneficial to communicate with these other supporters, but only if explicitly permitted to do so by the person you are assisting.
7. Take care of yourself: Focusing on your own life is the most important thing you can do to assist the addict. Feeling stress related to a friend or loved one’s addiction issues can create resentment and strain, making it difficult to continue helping someone who has created so much difficulty in your life. Practicing self-care by doing things like exercising, getting plenty of sleep, socializing and obtaining your own support, puts you in a better position to help a loved one when they are ready to accept the help.
Recovering from an addiction is a complex process for both the addict and those who love them. The road is rarely smooth, and there likely will be bumps and obstacles along the way. But don’t give up. With inpatient and outpatient services for adults and seniors, Reid Health Psychiatric Services provides compassion, respect and hope to those facing issues like addiction, depression, dementia and other emotional/behavioral problems.