Death of a loved one is an unwelcome intruder

By RICK ALVEY, Reid Health Chaplain

According to well-established Chinese legend, silk was discovered because of a problem with insects.

The accounts vary slightly but generally agree that the emperor of China had a problem. Something was destroying his mulberry trees. The emperor shared this problem with his wife who took a closer look to get to the bottom of what was going on.

What the empress discovered when she looked at the trees was a moth laying eggs on the mulberry leaves, eggs that of course hatched into caterpillars. After a few days, each caterpillar spun a thread that it wrapped itself in, forming a cocoon.

The empress plucked one of the cocoons from the leaves and dropped it in hot water. Slowly, the delicate and beautiful thread began to unwind. It was a half mile long when the empress stretched it out! Then it occurred to her: perhaps this thread could be woven into cloth.

At that moment the silk trade was born. The origin of silk was kept a secret by China for over 3000 years. An empire of extraordinary beauty and wealth began with an emperor's garden disaster and an unwelcome intruder!

The death of a loved one is an unwelcome intruder. It disrupts our journey. It changes things in ways we never expected. It hits like a rogue wave that knocks us off our feet and has us doing summersaults underwater as we gasp for air. It leaves us struggling to figure out what to do next.

For most of us, grief is an unwelcome intruder creating an unfamiliar journey with no well-marked signposts to guide the way. But when we choose to work through our grief and process all that is going on we can come through it not only stronger but with new discoveries.

Perhaps it will be the renewal of friendships from the past or new friendships waiting to be discovered. Maybe it will involve new hobbies and interests or getting back into some old favorite activities that you haven't had time to enjoy lately. It could be new destinations as you have opportunity to travel with family or friends.

Nothing will remove the heartache of losing a loved one but we can choose to keep living life and looking for new ways to enjoy it. Remember, it is entirely possible to both cherish our memories with our loved one and cherish each new day with its endless possibilities.